No one else…

under the stars…under the moon… he told stories at the campfire…i miss grandpa, the time before Parkinson’s and palsy…i miss the smell…the smell is what i miss the most
no one else has seen
 
jaws          eating jaws
catching in                                      the inaudible
teeth as they are unzipped
 
                 incessantly chewing
taken aback                              by a missing quotient
           moving with a nd a gainst g ravity
the logarithms  decry the loss
it's  just         paranoia
             an  eviscerated        mess
structurally            unsound parallelogram shifts the past
crevices of    footprints
                     out of                            context
and it                  spoils
the radiation       poisoning                           turning them white
 
time no one else           has seen
subtly melting              away
 
the metallic taste of blood is relative
       blood relatives
their               nascent fruit
moving
in the musty attic insulation
pink and                quadrupling in weeks
 
    was it self defense
no one else               has seen
lifelike stillness that creeps              across the surface of the colorless waters
only knowing    jaundiced
             yellow streetlight                      
                                       it’s spoiled fruit
no one else             has seen
                                 so much that has to be eaten
 
who’s eating
                    better to touch the
campfire
       burning off                           poisoned blood
 
who’s burning
with and against
a transient sense       in the tenebrous blue
 
it could be blood entering the lineage
 
that's controlling     

the phases of the moon
 
the metallic taste of blood
no one else has seen
 
pulling the  burnt skin off of the roof of the mouth
        who's mouth
 
still struggling to chew 

that last morsel
no one else has seen
the air as it thickens or
the ashes buried
 
unseen
what happens 

to all the prayers and apologies

when they can't pull apart conscience 
recognize the extent I’ve changed